I've wrote several blog entries on my relationship with my past media career and the trajectory of it that brought me into who I currently am today. That life it seems at times so far removed from an industry at one point I was madly in love with. I found out recently that a total of 8 people had died at an old television studio I used to work for because of stress related injuries aka; heart-attacks and strokes.
Fomo; Fear of Missing Out.
I was over at a friend's place about a week ago watching "Better Call Saul", a masterfully done show I might add, and remarking on how post 2020 lockdowns and some during the lockdowns a lot of my friends had embarked on career choices that would dwarf their past experiences. Gigantic 200 million dollar films from known actors and directors, huge immense Oscar bait projects, high profile premier television and first time major exposure on gigantic entities after years and years of fine-tuning scripts, scrambling for money, researching archival footage, and grinding their way through the tedious granulated minutia of those projects and the expectations of their past through the tightrope gauntlet that is "Making it"; a fantastical concept in the lands of both ego and entertainment. But I was proud and happy for my friend's success's and I knew through the horror stories that they'd all earned it through and through.
All those I spoke too were also truly humble. I suppose that is why after so many years removed we still remain friends.
And while contemplating the unknown future of 'Saul Goodman' I was asked "Do you miss it?"
And I'd thought long and hard about it. No. I don't miss it at all. Yet there is still a residual sense of passion transmutated from those years I'd spent grinding, a passion that has been honing, aging, and solidfying, I hope.
And while thoughts of ehem 'content' bubble into my noodle every now and again I refocused my energy on various other hobbies including making sauce...and I enjoy that quiet change of creative flowing energy.
