Sunday, June 12, 2016
It isn't official but I just wanted to type my thoughts in this journal as quickly as I could right now. I think in a year from now I'll leave California. I think it'll be therapeutic and I think it might be what I need and I think I saw a vision where I can make a happy and full life with Ash. I do not want kids though. Might find a place to donate sperm so the concoction that makes up me is still floating around somewhere for someone to use. Just thoughts I needed to get off my head.
Tuesday, May 10, 2016
Today he spoke to me in words. I say ‘he’ as a formality.
“Our individual pie in the sky dreams are feeble compared to the awe of our reality. It is only by group thinking that we can truly achieve transcendence as a species. With multiple points of view merging as one. The internet is an orgy of thoughts screaming to be heard. The internet is a great hope for ideology, the great debate inside us all, an arena where even the most petty arguments are given equal footing to some of the deepest questions mankind can ask of itself. The internet should be applauded for its openness and shunned for the exact opposite that it is equally guilty of. The internet is a wealth of ideology and debate but also a den of wolves for factual knowledge. Misinformation creeps around every corner of the internet. It is sharpening its fangs waiting for the most gullible of people to listen and then it pounces with its misleading ideology and misspoken facts. It is a kaleidoscope of colors and ideas we were never meant to even see. It is a gangbang of information. It is an information overload…and Roy, that’s why I have to stop it now. Mankind was not meant to know this much. You have had your time. Soak it all in Roy. Soon it will be time to rebuild.” CPGIN (COMPUTER PERSONALITY GLOBAL INFORMATION NETWORK)
Today I stared up at this computer the size of a small apartment complex. The outside metal shined for miles when the sun hit it midday. Its display screen on the front seemed to be flashing random images. Its software had long been corrupted. We knew there were problems and we didn’t fix it earlier. It was as it if the computer was developing dementia. It was making connections where there were none to be made. It was like a beat poet on an acid trip howling nonsense at the moon but CPGIN was more than just words…he had access to everything and now he was losing his mind.
My name is Roy Davis and these are my journals.
JULY 29th 2058".
Friday, March 25, 2016
Two things happened recently to remind me of this fact of how much I love truly great music. I bought some nice headphones...and I inherited a bass guitar.
(Still at the shop being repaired.)
Jonsi-Grow Till Tall
But what is at the heart of music that really grabs you...as an individual?
Years ago a great friend of mine who is a producer said of MTV that the reason they gravitated away from music is how divisive it can be and they can't consolidate their demographic because music so often speaks to the individual.
I can listen to Thom Yorke, Robert Smith, Sigur Ros (*Jonsi seen above), Primus, Richard D. James (*Aphex), Tool, Joy Division, and Tom Waits with almost equal zest. Every last one of those artists probably couldn't be more different but the longer I listen the more patterns I find and the reason I love them all reaffirms why I love great music in the first place. Why we all love our books, movies, t.v. shows, and fiction...we love stories. And great songs are either journey's or stories and for this art form and for me the more abstract the journey the more it becomes a uniquely indescribable adventure into a moment in time otherwise incomparable to anything else. It can barely be described. Being lost in the abstraction of beautiful sounds sober or otherwise is an individual experience. When you are in the moment and truly transfixed by a song there isn't much to say that can intellectualize it even with all the words we seem to know. It's that power of abstraction that takes me away to a point where I realize that there is something more to being human than just existing. If the inevitable is true and we all die and eventually the sun burns out like all great stars do then why do we keep creating such beautiful art if not for the sheer pleasure and sense of awe it gives us.
If you don't like "15 Step" we can't be friends. (Kidding.)
If you don't like "In Between Days" we can't be friends. (Just kidding, lets be friends.)
(I'd suggest listening to these two songs in a row.)
I've been thinking about this for a while...I just inherited a Hofner style bass. The person most famous for playing it is a little obscure musician named Paul McCartney.
It's weird. I never thought of bass as an instrument I'd get into. Until I started thinking about a simple bass lick written that transfixed me and made me fall in love with a band.
This is Peter Hook...the bassist for Joy Division.
But it's songs like this that helped me appreciate the complexity of a bass.
Sigur Ros, Tom Waits, Joy Division, The Cure, Radiohead, Aphex Twin, Philip Glass, Goblin, and so many more are the types of artists that aren't afraid to push their individual styles and sounds to the realm of the surreal and strange to touch that pure umami state of music in your ears that creates a level of bliss other things can't seem to match. You can't explain it, intellectualize it, or even understand it. Great music is at times like a perfect slow kiss. The moment before and the moment after are washings of adrenaline but that moment within the moment, when you lose your sense of time and your grip on reality for the briefest of moments is that pure thing that only music, sex, and truly sublime food can do.
It is said of Orson Wells that he had a disorder that whenever he ate food it wouldn't taste like you and I would taste food, it would taste many many times better and that's why he got so big in his old age. Food was as addictive as any kind of serious drug to him. (That's a legend I heard that I'm still not sure is true. He of course could have just been a big dude in his old age.)
If one could get fat from listening to music all the time you'd have to roll me out of bed every morning.
This scene perfectly encapsulates someone trying to explain why a song moves them. I've always loved it for its complete honesty. It is the greatest representation of this idea in film that I can think of.
Maybe I have a fat soul.
"The only truth is music"