Angels and demons.

Angels & Demons were created by men to represent psychological principles. The superego is an angel the part of us that society and experiences have taught of to behave walk in a strait line so to speak. But the deeper rooted animal part of our brains is the demon the deeper center of the brain that makes you think unspeakable animalistic thoughts without your control. Yet somehow religion has figure a way to bottle these and sell them back to us at high prices. It's just the warring two parts of the human brain, restraint & manors and animal instincts. We just found a way to tell us that one of them is bad and the other is good rather than understanding how to live with both which all people do anyway any form or restraint or regrets just makes the dark side darker. Think about it.

What would Hunter Thompson do?

I wonder what Hunter Thompson would write about the modern world of Youtube, social networks and desensitization & sanitization of modern culture into some form of colorful but mild soup of ideas and arguments held together by loose digital strings . . . ?

Maquis De Sade~ A Letter to his Wife.

The opening page from his book; "Philosophy in the Bedroom" ~

My manner of thinking, so you say, cannot be approved. Do you suppose I care? A poor fool indeed is he who adopts a manner of thinking for others! My manner of thinking stems strait from my considered reflections; it holds with my existence, with the way I am made. It is not in my power to alter it; and were it, I'd not do so. This manner of thinking you find fault with is my sole consolation in life; it alleviates all my sufferings in prison, it composes all my pleasure in the world outside, it is dearer to me than life itself. Not my manner of thinking but the manner of thinking of others has been the source of my unhappiness. The reasoning man who scorns the prejudices of simpletons necessarily becomes the enemy of simpetons; he must expect as much, and laugh at the inevitable. A traveler journeys along a fine road. It has been strewn with traps. He falls into one. Do you say it is the travlers fault, or that of the scoundrel who lays the traps? If then, as you tell me, they are willing to resore my liberty if I am willing to pay for it by the sacrifice of my principles or my tastes, we may bid one another an eternal adieu, for rather than part with those, I would sacrifice a thousand lives and a thousand liberties, if I had them. These principles and these tastes, I am their fanatic adherent; and fancism in me is the product of the persecutions I have endured from my tyrants. The longer they continue their vexations, the deeper they root my principles in my heart, and I openly declare that no one need ever talk to me of liberty if it is offered to me only in return for their desruction.

~Marquis De Sade, a letter to his wife.

Bands I've seen live...yes this list will be missing a lot.

In no order I just wanted to lay these all out. So I have a record.

*The one's that made this list are simply put the most memorable. Ehem that were good accept the one's at the bottom. I saw a band call 'Sparta' play in the rain and that was cool & I saw a Velvet Revolver and they sucked terrible. I did see 'Alice in Chains' however I don't really like their music despite they were very good.*

(saw them at the Wiltern in Los Angeles)

(This is my big classy one I've seen. Everybody needs a big classy one.)

Chick groups : ^.^

(*Bayfest Mobile, AL)

(*Key Club Los Angeles, CA)

(*This was the show I was at. Only to the right and a bit further back *.*) (Hippy hopping is cute ^.^) Oh yes and 'Paramore' was their too and I couldn't kill myself fast enough *.* (Nah that's harsh. I'm deaf now.)

Men bands :

(I was at this show)

(Orlando, FL)

(Orlando, FL)

(*Bayfest Mobile, AL)

(This is more of a puppet show)

(Florida)

***Best show I've ever seen (And the one's in the video is the one I was at)*** Everybody stoned too. ********* (*Staples Center Los Angeles, CA) I've also seen them front for My Chemical Romance.

+ A sh*t ton of others who either didn't stand out, weren't good enough, or just plain I'm not proud of like Trapt or ehem...New Found Glory...or as I like to call them...New Found Gloryhole. Velvet Revolver (Slash solo was the only good part), Sparta...and like I said a bunch of others, in clubs and bars, some great locals, + I work for a talk show so occasionally seeing a variety of bands is kind of my daily routine (although nothing beats being at a real show) and even went to every show for a two year period on the road, radio interviews, and to contests of my buddies band (Which is a fun memory). (***Yes I directed this music video) ***That's my backyard biatches.

(Surprisingly one of the worst shows I've seen. Not because of the Nine Inch Nails but their crappy fans)

...

The 5 Best Special Editions to own.

5.) Francis Ford Coppola's Dracula Special Edition.

4. Disney Special Edition D.V.D's

3. The Criterion Collection (They put so much work in finding special features & cleaning up the films, most of them come with booklets and are expensive by comparison.*)

2. The Lord of the Rings

1. Robert Rodriguez D.V.D.'s

Philosophy : The meaning of life.

I used to believe in a soul, true-love, god, . . . then one of those words actually happened to me. And I truely believe all of those pursuits to be a game. (Accept love perhaps, which in a way may just be a long lasting placebo of happiness) Most of a human being's life is spent distracting himself or herself from either his nature or the fact that we've evolved past wasting our time on our needs. Like searching all day for food. Most people don't live day by day. Our instincts are surpressed because we don't need them so far at the surface, because of technology, the brain's evolution. And we've developed a social structure around us to justify this supression of our survival instincts or the lack of need for them so much on the surface anyways. No hunting, only supermarkets and money as the means of a medium in front of it. A barrier, a distraction to stretch time out to get to the ultimate goal of sutanance. Money alone provides no sutanance yet through the power of myth holding a bunch of it in your hand can produce pleasure. Then we've built on it starting at the simple and onto the complex. Just look and the sheer missteps in the complexity of economics a sort of monitary evolution starting originally out as the barder system has blossomed into a strange organism indeed of modern economics. So most humans distract themselves. And spend all day dreaming. (Paraphrased) "We eat, we shit, we fuck, and we die" Marquis de Sade. (in "Quills") "But we also compose symphonies, paint masterpieces, and write epics." the Abby (in "Quills"). To what? : understand the human condition? or imagine possiblities? or to have that rush that feeling of living or 'feeling alive'? Vicariously imagining we're gods, or just important, or significant...but what we truely are is dreamers. Even great men who spend their lives studying the past and science do it for future progression and the tiny bit of pleasure of meeting someone that feels the same way to put a real smile on their face for a change. Eventually we'll die. And die as we surely will won't see our success past that age, the age past death. And sure enough we'll all die alone. It's a cycle. A rythm. No more intelligent than the tide coming in and out day after day shaping the rocks. No matter how beautiful the rocks are I still don't say they're intelligently designed. But I don't say the tide is any more intelligent than the wind. So I don't believe in god at least not in the organized sense and if such believing in something certainly does not make it real. Yet I've had dreams where I'd swear that I'm flying truely and surely I am. A series of molecular reactions, trillions, creating an organism. That believes to be supreme to all around it and cowers if he's wise enough to notice that maybe, just maybe, he might be insignifigant. The little pleasures are the most important ones because they're so little and simple we tend not to distract our happiness by studying them too closely. No person should ever have to justify what makes them happy. Weather it's god, music, sex, drugs, the pursuit of stories, or the myth that they are significant. All humans deceive themselves. If all of us woke up one day and realized that our petty little idiological beliefs and rituals in and about the world around us were meaningless outside of ourselves and deeply that other humans like us probably believe something whole heartedly different about the world around us than our world might crumble. And I say might because it might not. I'd like to believe that the wiser of people take great relish in the foolishly simple pleasures of life far more than the complex ones because they aren't distracted and they do take them at face value without the need to justify anything. Just like the smile on another person's face...we react upon seeing it...realizing that we've changed another creature internally and for a strong moment, we feel powerful. We feel like gods. The bible says that god created man in his own image. I say that man created god in his own image. Out of fear. Because when I create a new creature, when I imagine one I should say, it's usually humanoid but far more alien than an exact copy. I'm a twin I don't want or need an exact copy and even if I were to imagine a copy of myself my brother is far mor unique and complex than my imagination alone would allow me to create. Based on the principles of physics and gravity as I understand because psychologically I'd like to believe that if an imaginary creature did exist I'd like to be able to interact with whatever it is I'm imagining. Either hunt it, fuck it, or tell it a good joke and watch it laugh...feeling powerful again. Like a god. Like a human. Most humans still react to a puppy quite the same way. And we don't know why. Or at least I don't I guess it's like a baby but without too much resposibility. After all if it dies it's just a dumb animal. But after all humans are just dumb animals too. Tricking themselves to believing they're smart. It's a strange complex world indeed we belong too. Changing the shape of things. And succoming to fears in order to think we're surviving or living or 'truely alive' whatever that means.

It's easy to say their is a god, it's easy to say their isn't a god. But for all my years it's hard to say that the world is rather insignificant, yet still come up with a logical and fun reason for living. And that's just it. Fun. Evolution has created an outlit for survival. Perhaps the most important survival mechanism. Fun. The pursuit of pleasure. Because if their is no god and their is no life after death and no second chances than pleasure is all their is left and be it complex or simple it's the main reason human beings carry on. We've developed a society and many ways to deceive us into thinking it's much more than this basic. But truely and surely that's what it is. And it makes me happy to know at 24 years of age be able to whole heartly believe that I've discovered the function of basic human pleasure. (even though I'm quite sure I'm not the only one) It's simply put a survival mechanism that distracts us til we die. I've discovered the meaning of life. The reason each individual one of us is here and so unique is immaterial or unimportant. It doesn't matter if their was a big bang or is a god because if their is a god he truely doesn't care and what does matter is the pursuit of pleasure after the pursuit of being alive. It's all that ever did matter. No moral, no eithics, not distractions. And no rituals Just smile. And just pleasure. It's that simple folks. The meaning of living. And the uphill battle that may occur if you find yourself in opposition to people that don't understand this principle. But ignore those people if you can or better yet convience them of your belief, if you don't have that selfish instinct. Than live your life in pleasure and happiness as you and truely you see fit and no one else. And try not to let it clash with anyone else. That might throw you off track too. ;) The meaning of life.

"Life, it's just a ride" - Bill Hicks.

But simply the meaning of life is not to die. And have the most fun not dying as you can.

IRREVERSIBLE

The more and more and more I think about it the more I realize how masterful the film "Irreversible" really is. It's easily the most affecting film I've ever seen, easily one of the best crafted films I've ever seen, easily one of the most heartbreaking films I've ever seen, and even after seeing "The Men Behind the Sun" is still one of the hardest films I've ever had to sit down and watch And it's . . .

. . . even harder to sit and watch it in 1 sitting on a large screen. It's horrifying and genuinely frightening and probably one of the best films I've ever seen because all the peices seem to fit. Even when I know what's coming next ever time I shutter. I'm watching scenes from it now, I know the directors newest film comes out in September and am trying to remember why I liked it, if I can use the word like. It's the most dehumanising and humanising film I've ever seen, it reminds you of true evil but reminds me of true happiness and that at any moment you're world can spin out of control and become "Irreversible", so cherishing ever moment is important, and valuing a true friend (that will smash a person's head in with a...). This film is not for children and probably not for adults either.It truely deserves it. It is a masterpiece.

So people have told me I need to be descriptive about why I love these films well here I go to the best of my ability. Irreversible sets you or more accurately spins you (the camera spins over and over ad nauseum, (No seriously if you watch it on a large screen you can get sea sick and possible if prone too it trigger epileptic seizures.) in the middle of the action. Two men go into a gay bar to find a man for 'revenge' what he did, we're not quite sure. But within the club the tension mounts as we sea in shades of red and out of the darkness homosexual men engaged in the most disturbing S&M acts imaginable. (Fisting, candle wax ext.) Until the tension mounts as out lead male (the boyfriend) starts getting impatient and attacks one of the bizarre homosexual men, causing others to gang up on him, and gang up on him until he violently lashing out against a man who breaks his arm and attempts to rape him while many other men from the club sit and cheer (cheer on the rapist that is, the rapist that would be raping our man MALE character) Still with me, this is the BEGINNING of the film!!! Then an amazing thing happens.

…

But I won't spoil it.

Thusly the camera spins , as the film plays each scene leading up til that one.

Scene 1: Hunting down the rapist

Scene 2 Searching for the rapist

So on and so forth until we the audience get to see the boyfriends reaction to his bloodied girlfriend being drug out from a subway alley covering in massive amounts of blood.

And then the rape. A 9 minute long, 0 cutaways unflinching look at a horribly violent rape in real time, to the point where at the end we aren't sure she's alive, and by the end of the movie we're still not.

But this is only the halfway point.

The scenes continue to play in a backwards order showing our main man, our man women, and a mutual platonic friend (the one who came to the rescue at the beginning) They show them at a party dancing like fools and doing drugs, then rewinds to them traveling by subway to the party, then eventually the film rewinds to the two lovers naked in bed smiling and living rather blissfully. And the most heartbreaking reveal about Monica's character is revealed. And the final shot is of Monica's character sitting out in a beautiful green grassed park, reading a book and spinning out of control.

Starting at the end of a horrible day, rewinding to the beginning of a beautiful morning.

The visual effects in the film are subtle and used while the camera spins, some of the nudity is fake and of course the rape is fake, but because you're so enraptured in the story you never ever seem to notice, even if you're a film buff like me starting right at it.

The music suites each scene it occupies, if it's supposed to disturb its mostly nodes and tonal sounds, and if it's a party scene it's bizarre techno dance music. By the same man from Daft Punk.

This film is 99.9 % shock value, and it works.